A Day After Valentine’s Day…

Are you still in love? I know most of you think Valentine’s Day is the ultimate to fall in love. However, that is not true. You can find someone the following day, or the next month or year. It does not HAVE to be during the season of love. Love happens without notice, unexpected, at any time or day.

Many people think they can deceive someone in love on Valentine’s Day and dump them the next day. Therefore, you need to beware of such two-faced love criminals. You need to know if they will still love you the next day. You need to be sure that before submitting yourself to someone, he or she loves you genuinely.

Love is not just for a day or two. It is for a lifetime. It is forever and even after that. Make sure your significant other has the same feelings for you. DO NOT ASSUME your partner or lover loves you. You have to see it in the way you are treated by him or her. Communication is also important.

You deserve to be loved. If it doesn’t happen now, it will happen someday. That day, you will be the happiest you have ever been. Continue to believe in love even if Valentine’s Day did not prove to be fruitful. Don’t be disheartened if you have a break-up on this day. It will mean nothing when you finally fall in love with your true soul-mate.

Have a wonderful aftermath of V-Day!

© 2016 The Love Bug. All Rights Reserved.

Do You Fall In Love To Cheat?

You get attached to a person. You fall in love. You want the person in bed with you. These are all different notions. They do not necessarily come together, at all times. But, when they do, you experience an intense surge of emotions.

Helen Fisher, a renowned Anthropologist, in her talk at TED2006, “Why We Love, Why We Cheat?”, gives us a beautiful insight and a new perspective to love. She has inspired me; and I’d love to share her talk with you.

Did you know you experience immense mood swings when you fall head over heels for someone? Not literally, but it’s true. In her talk, Fisher throws light on the scientific reasons and symptoms of falling in love.

Fisher conducted a research to identify the change in bodily functions and emotions when a person is in love. She always thought that love was a series of emotions. However, through her research, she discovered that it is a drive in the brain, and it is more powerful than the sex drive.

Moreover, she also reminds us that the sex drive is responsible for one being sexually inclined or sexually possessive about their partner or the person with whom they desire to satisfy their sexual urges.

However, when you are in love, you crave for the person sexually as well as emotionally. Fisher adds that love motivates you; and I agree with her. If you are in love or sexually attracted or emotionally attached to someone, you want that person to see and know the best of you. You do things or say things to show that you are better than anyone else; and they have made the right decision by choosing to be with you. You display your best side to attract their attention.

How is love different from the sex drive? Well, Fisher explains that love is one of the three different brain systems. These systems are the sex drive, through which you desire to be with more than one partner; romantic love that compels you to focus on only one person; and attachment that makes you tolerate a person even though love has flown out the window.

There are a lot of other things that Helen Fisher talks about in “Why we love, why we cheat”. You should check it out. Here is a link to this incredible TED Talk – http://on.ted.com/p0TJq.

So, now what do you think? Do you fall in love to cheat or is the sex drive overpowering romantic love?

© 2015 The Love Bug. All Rights Reserved.

Love… With A Twist

Have you ever thought of spicing your love-life? Are you bored of your love affair? I’m not asking you to cheat on your partner. It’s not love, then. You can stay in the relationship and still have fun.

Make life more enjoyable for you and your partner. How? Let me throw some light on how you can do it…

Make him or her feel special each day and not just on occasions. You can say something nice or do something that will surprise your partner, in a good way. You can even help him or her with some chores, if you are still not doing that. You can catch a movie or indulge in dinner for two on the weekend.

If you are a busy person, dealing with your own problems of life, try being more open with your partner whenever you get time. In this way, you are keeping him or her in the loop of what is happening in your life, as well as helping him or her clear doubts regarding your busy schedule. It will also lighten your heart in the bargain, as stress from your busy schedule can take a toll on your life and relationships with your loved ones. As a stress buster for both of you, you can plan a romantic get-a-way with your partner.

For those who lack spice in bed, you can try different techniques of love-making. Come out of your comfort zone to make your partner happy. Try some foreplay to begin with, if you have not yet done that. Don’t consider your pleasure superior to your partner’s pleasure. Spend equal time to pleasure each other. Work towards your relationship with different positions that you have not tried before. However, keep in mind the safety of your partner and yourself.

After you have made love, don’t just dress up and walk away. It will only seem like sex and not a love-making session. Spend some time lying naked in your partner’s arms after the heated session. Love-making is beautiful when it ends in your partner’s arms. You can feel the warmth of your partner’s body to feel the warmth of love.

There are several other ways to spice up your love-life. So, go ahead and discover how you can love your partner… with a twist.

© 2015 The Love Bug. All Rights Reserved.

Conflicted Heart

“A couple of months back I had broken up with my boyfriend of 7 years. We still have “love-making” sessions almost 3-5 times a week. My problem is that I am in a relationship with another guy since the past month and have no intention of getting back together with my now ex-boyfriend. Am I a cheater? Will I be labelled a slut? Please Love Bug, help me! I am so conflicted.” – Melidah

Hi Melidah,

Well, firstly, you are, indeed, cheating on your present boyfriend. Why do you need to do that? Give your present boyfriend a chance to show you that he can love you better than your Ex. If you think you are not going to get back with your Ex, then forget the “love-making” sessions, too. No one will be happy, if this goes on. Imagine the position in which you are placing your present boyfriend. Two-timing him is not going to help you win his trust or your self-esteem.

Why don’t you have safe and fearless “love-making” sessions with your present boyfriend? I’m sure you wouldn’t have the fear of losing him or getting caught by another guy.

Love is not only trusting your partner, but also being loyal to your partner. There’s no two ways about it. Lies, Deception, and Infidelity have no place in a relationship.

Solution:

• You either stop seeing your Ex-boyfriend even if it’s just for sex; or
• Leave your present boyfriend and get back with your Ex; or
• Stop seeing both of them, and thus, stay out of conflict.

Lastly, do what you expect in return. Imagine how it would feel if you found out that your present boyfriend is still seeing his Ex, while being in a relationship with you. You wouldn’t want to be at the receiving end, so why give your present boyfriend such treatment? Learn from your past and live in your present. Don’t look back; it will only leave you in a conflict.

The Love Bug

© 2014 The Love Bug. All Rights Reserved.

A Betrayed Heart Coping…

“I had a second chance in life to walk away, but I chose to walk with her again. I let her back in my life, just to be betrayed… Betrayed, the way I knew she would. My words were true. My visions and everything about her were true, but every time I felt she kissed and held another man. My mind wouldn’t agree as I was blind in love. I kept asking her if another man was comforting her, but she just said a flat “NO”. She left me broken. She left me crashed. But, I swallow every pride and make my life a little easy by saying, “I love you, but yet I have to say good bye”. I don’t want to cross those paths or walk those roads again.”

“Life is simple. It’s like a car wherein your rear view mirror shows you the road behind, but the main windshield is big enough to show you a better and brighter future ahead of you. I am learning to love, trust and feel someone again. It may take the longest time, but YES slowly and surely someday, I will; and so will all those broken-hearted love again. As I sit and pen all this, I want people to know that a relationship may nourish you, but if in a bad one, it will destroy you. So, what nourishes you… should never destroy you. I won’t lose hope and soon will find that right, cute and perfect woman.” – Ashville

Hi Ashville,

It’s great that you are making efforts to cope with your distressed heart. Keep up the spirit! Positivity is the mother of all solutions. Practicality also counts in every matter; and so, you should move on in life. I’m glad you are learning to love and trust again. A relationship needs trust. You played your part fairly. But, relationship is about two individuals, not one. If it turns bad, both need to work things out to save the relationship, not one of you.

It is definitely going to take time for your heart to love someone else as it is weak now. Therefore, keep yourself busy and give it time to rise with your help. Only a broken-hearted can heal his/her own heart. Talk yourself into being optimistic throughout. Love will find its way to your heart. You will get your right cute and perfect woman someday, Ashville. Stay positive.

The Love Bug

© 2014 The Love Bug. All Rights Reserved.

Miles Apart…. Yet Close To The Heart!

Every relationship goes through a rough patch at some point in time. The couples that get through it successfully win in the game of Love. A successful long-distance relationship surpasses Doubt, Jealousy and Infidelity. It consists of Trust, Understanding, Loyalty, and Love. These are the foundation pillars of a relationship. However, not all couples find success in maintaining a relationship through long distance. There are many factors that surround the geographical or so-called “long-distance” relationships. Some turn out to be fruitful. Some linger around. And some others fall apart.

The following are some of the Pros of long distance relationships:-

• Distance helps the relationship grow stronger.
• It gives both the individuals space and quality time for themselves.
• Fights and arguments decrease as the couple misses each other.
• Calls, messages, emails, postal letters and other forms of communication are more frequent as loneliness creeps in.

There are a lot more factors that increase the success of the relationship when the couple is separated by distance.

On the contrary, it is said that distance separates because a long-distance relationship may face some Cons, as well:-

• Doubts arise as you do not know what your partner is up to in that different place.
• Cheating is also a possibility in such circumstances.
• Money may be a concern as long-distance gifts and surprises are expensive. It may include shipping charges and other expenditures.
• Most couples opt for affairs and two-timing as they believe their partner will never find out.

These and some other factors may affect long-distance relationships.

So, the best way to maintain the long-distance relationship is to keep in touch. Communication is important in every relationship. Talk as much as possible, so the missing factor of physical presence does not affect the lonely heart. Discard negativity from your mind as it poses a threat to your relationship. Your partner loves you as much as you love your partner. Trust your partner. Understand your partner, for sometimes, they may be genuinely busy, and unable to contact in any way. Be loyal to your partner to expect loyalty in return.

The ultimate resolution is make an effort to stay connected even though you are miles apart.

© 2014 The Love Bug. All Rights Reserved.